The letter you send your friends is absolutely critical.

Here’s why: When you’re in a career transition you’re selling personal services—what you can do—something intangible. People buy services based on trust. Marketing personal services is not like marketing a product. Shoppers buy products knowing they can return them if dissatisfied. But companies can’t return employees who fail on the job. They have to terminate them and start over, both of which are costly. That’s why employers are so cautious.

Crucial hiring decisions middle and upper-level workers are generally made by a team. Key managers meet to define the duties and responsibilities and decide what sort of person they want. Then they ask, “Who do we know that could fill this slot?” Many times, someone in the group knows someone, or they “know someone who knows someone.”

That candidate is interviewed first, given preferential treatment, and often hired.

The moral of the story is that managers hire their friends—known quantities, not shots-in-the-dark. No one likes to hire strangers—there’s too much at stake. One wrong employment decision can ruin a manager’s career.

What does this mean to you?
It means your next middle or upper-level job is probably going to come from one of your personal friends or business acquaintances—or else from one of their friends or acquaintances. Not from a recruiter. Not from an online job posting (sorry, Indeed). Not from knocking on doors or pounding the pavement.

I Googled “Job Posting Sites” and found 50 major players like Indeed, LinkedIn, ZipRecruiter, and Google for Jobs. And as you know, most employers in the United States, even small ones, post their own open positions. That’s a lot of places to upload your resume!

Even so, your friends will be your strongest marketing allies. That’s why it’s important to involve them in your campaign, not just notify them. Most job-seekers simply call and say, “I’ve lost my job. Let me know if you hear of anything.” The friend says, “Sure I will.” And that’s the end of it. The phone never rings. Friends want to help, but they have to know exactly what kind of help you need. Tell them in a “friendship letter.”

Who are your friends?
When I say “friends,” I mean “everyone you know.” Not just your closest friends, but anyone who knows your name. I mean your contact network, both personal and business—especially people you’ve worked with on projects. Begin your marketing campaign by making a list of your friends. Use the following checklist to help you remember names. Record all names. Don’t prejudge people, guessing which ones can help you (you’ll often be wrong). Don’t rule anyone out prematurely.

Go as far back as high school, even grade school. List your old college classmates and roommates. Look at your holiday card list. Write names until your mind goes blank. Then stop and rest, and begin again.

Why do this now? It may seem odd to launch into list making without the letter to go with it. The reason is simple: list making takes time and names will pop into your mind randomly, over a period of days, weeks, or months, and all along the campaign trail until you sign an offer letter.

After one candidate drafting her letter to friends, she complained: “How come you waited to have me remember names? Why didn’t you start that sooner?”

Good point. We should begin now.

The Friendship Checklist